It all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica.
Cosmo Kramer's company Kramerica Industries "invented" many ideas (some not-so-good, some even worse).
Below is a list of the items and activities Kramer developed.
The Bro (Manssiere): Lending support to the other 50% of the market.
Butter Shave Set: Butter is vastly superior to any commercial shaving cream.
Matshup: Skip that extra condiment step with ketchup and mustard in the same bottle.
Butter Shave Set: Butter is vastly superior to any commercial shaving cream.
Matshup: Skip that extra condiment step with ketchup and mustard in the same bottle.
Rubber Bladder System: A rubber ball inside the tanker so if it crashes, the oil won’t spill out. Finally, our world's energy problems are solved.
East River Swim: Miles and miles of open lanes in the most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard.
Ocean Golf: Your Titlist golf balls will go sailing up into the sky, hold there for a moment, and then...gulp...right into the ocean. Hole in one!
The Beach Fragrance: Spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach.
Sausage Stuffer (with instructional video): Feel like you are living in a slaughter house.
East River Swim: Miles and miles of open lanes in the most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard.
Ocean Golf: Your Titlist golf balls will go sailing up into the sky, hold there for a moment, and then...gulp...right into the ocean. Hole in one!
The Beach Fragrance: Spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach.
Sausage Stuffer (with instructional video): Feel like you are living in a slaughter house.
Deli Meat Slicer: Your meat problems are solved. The taste has nowhere to hide with all that surface area.
Blood Storage: Don't give blood, hoard it. Never pay a hidden fee or service charge. Keep your blood where it belongs - in your freezer next to your money.
Little Jerry Seinfeld Cockfights: Don't let Little Jerry's poor egg production fool you, this bird will flap his wings and strut his stuff!
Peterman Reality Bus Tour: For only $37.50, take a tour with the real J. Peterman, plus you get a pizza bagel and bite-size Three Musketeers (just like the real Peterman eats).
Pasta Sculptures: Made with pasta that captures the individual, these realistic sculptures should be stored in a safe place. Have one made for you like Fusilli Jerry, Macaroni Midler, Ravioli Costanza.
Matusi: Your guests will be very comfortable in this chest of drawers. Be advised, do not keep a hot tub near the chest - the wood may swell.
Shower Garbage Disposal: Never get out to the shower again. Easily install the Clarkman Disposal in your bathtub and make thank you meals for all your friends.
Cuban-rolled Crepes: Dominicans really know their way round a crepe - like they're rolling a double corona. But be advised, you need real Cuban rollers otherwise they will be rolled too tight.
Blood Storage: Don't give blood, hoard it. Never pay a hidden fee or service charge. Keep your blood where it belongs - in your freezer next to your money.
Little Jerry Seinfeld Cockfights: Don't let Little Jerry's poor egg production fool you, this bird will flap his wings and strut his stuff!
Peterman Reality Bus Tour: For only $37.50, take a tour with the real J. Peterman, plus you get a pizza bagel and bite-size Three Musketeers (just like the real Peterman eats).
Pasta Sculptures: Made with pasta that captures the individual, these realistic sculptures should be stored in a safe place. Have one made for you like Fusilli Jerry, Macaroni Midler, Ravioli Costanza.
Matusi: Your guests will be very comfortable in this chest of drawers. Be advised, do not keep a hot tub near the chest - the wood may swell.
Shower Garbage Disposal: Never get out to the shower again. Easily install the Clarkman Disposal in your bathtub and make thank you meals for all your friends.
Cuban-rolled Crepes: Dominicans really know their way round a crepe - like they're rolling a double corona. But be advised, you need real Cuban rollers otherwise they will be rolled too tight.
Make your own pizza pie: Kramerica gives you the dough, the sauce, the cheese. You pound it, slap it, you flip it up into the air. You put your toppings on and you slide it into the oven!
Mini Pool Sick: Have a pool table too big for your room? Don't worry using this Maestro baton you will sink all your billiard balls.
Coffee Table Book: A coffee table book about coffee tables. And if you don't have a coffee table. It turns into a coffee table.
Mini Pool Sick: Have a pool table too big for your room? Don't worry using this Maestro baton you will sink all your billiard balls.
Coffee Table Book: A coffee table book about coffee tables. And if you don't have a coffee table. It turns into a coffee table.
Kramer was always so inspired. He found a need in our culture/society and answered it. His ingenuity also inspired some of his friends. George created Pudding Skin Singles and Elaine came up with the idea for Muffin Tops.
So many items to choose from. But now I want YOU to choose just one. Which item or activity is your favorite? If available, which would just have to buy from Kramerica?
1 comments:
coffee table book. can you really buy it???
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